Hooking up with intelligent girl in internet

I was reading "The guys guide to geek girl" when I found one tip (of finding a single intelligent girl) I can personally testify as effective. The tip is to post intelligently in a forum or mailing list.

Yes, it works. If you're insightful or consistent enough in your writing, people of all genders are bound to email you personally, especially if your view on an issue is very similar to theirs. Depending on the community, you will soon get email from one or two girls, hopefully single :-).

But do remember that if you write better than most, some girls might treat you as if you're an old, untouchable guru. They will not initiate a close friendly discussion with you. If that happen, it is you the one who should initiate a personal communication.

Of course if you're specifically interested in someone, you can zero in her posting by disputing or clarifying it. She will feel appreciated.

Preparing relationships before undertaking any high pressure job/ambition

Although I know it, until recently I had never really appreciated that pressures of work and life can inhibit relationships building. The pressure may be inevitable due to certain facts of life or it may be that you choose to take that pressure. Choosing to take that pressure may be motivated by your ambition, or other people ambitions and interest. Either way, there might be some times in our life where relationship is simply not a priority.

Since many relationships - such as ordinary hang out friends - require maintainance (periodic phone call, short messages, or visit), we might lost relationships we built due to pressure of work and life. Consequently by the time we begin to pay attention to relationship, you might need to start from almost zero. It sucks.

Luckily, not all relationships require periodic maintainance. Some relationships, once established, can be left for years and invoked when needed with little time/effort. Therefore a person who, for example, are planning to pursue a certain ambition or wanting to take a very demanding job, should prepare his/her relationship life by cultivating such relationship with certain kind of people.

People of this kind - with whom you can build a relationship that can stand the test of time without periodic maintainance - are precious. They are the people who understand that facts of life might cause us to not maintainance the relationship. They are are the people who still remember what we and they had been through, although we seemed to abandon the relationship. They are the people who still appreciate our relationship, or at least the footprint of our relationship, although we don't means anything to them anymore.

Find them, and build relationships with them, whether it's just a friendship or something deeper. When you have the time, build a long meaningful relationship with them.

Dating before friendship or dating after friendship

Some people are more comfortable to establish a friend relationship before dating someone. Usually they want to know the partner more before starting to invest big amount of time and heart. Other reason is to identify possible freaks and perverts before their life become interlinked. Yet another reason is that they consider dating as a privilege that must be earned by someone who is worthy.

On the other side, some people are comfortable to date a complete stranger, ..well not a complete stranger, but you got the idea. If it works out, then they can start working to progress into a more intimate relationship. It if doesn't work that well, they can just be friends. If it really doesn't work out, you ignore him/her or even avoid him/her if necessary. Slap in a court order if it's really necessary :-)

If you want to approach someone, it is important to know in what category does your interest believe in, ie: dating before friendship or friendship before dating. Failure to know that will fail the relationship.

If someone believe in dating after friendship, and you declare an interest on him/her and persuade him/her to date while you're not in a friendly term with him/her, you will be rejected without any more chance of future date.

If someone believe in dating before friendship, and you develop a friendly relationship too slowly hoping that you will eventually date him/her, (s)he might decided too early that you're not worth the trouble to know because of the steps must be taken to. This is especially true for people whose life are too hectics to waste on people like you.

Summary-ing the above and adding some of my own experience, indicators of what a person believe in are:
1. Age and time constraint. Older people tend to believe in dating before friendship since they appreciate their life time more than younger ones, and they might want to get married as soon as possible.
2. Busy-ness and free time. Busy people tend to believe in dating before friendship due to reason in point 1 above.
3. Number of friends. More friends means more choice of possible intimate relationship thus less likely to take risk of "heavy commiting" too fast. Since "heavy commiting" too fast is a characteristic of dating before friendship, people with more friends tend to believe in dating after friendship.

Anyway, please correct me if I'm wrong, or tell me some more indicators I missed.

Yeah, it's so complicated. Life sucks.